Closing the door on my nursing career was a choice I had to make because I had so many allergies to medications that even the dust of the medication would send me into an anaphylactic attack. I used to take care of severely handicapped and cognitively challenged children in a long-term facility. When I first walked into this facility as a teenager I immediately new this was where I needed to be. So I worked as a nursing assistant and boy, was my heart filled with a joy I had never known before.
Man, I was so sheltered as a child I honestly didn’t know facilities like that existed. I know pretty naïve of me, huh! Others told me straight to my face there was no way I would last there, “you don’t have it in you,” they would say. All I had to say to that was they obviously did not know me. I fell in love with these kids from the very first moment I laid eyes on them.
I remember telling those same people who thought there was no way I was going to make that if they only saw what I had the privilege of seeing they would have understood. Not everyone thinks a corner smile on a little face means, “I love you so much, or thank you for that hug.” Let me tell you that I was not the only one who gave in this relationship. Those kids gave so much love back with their little smiles that if someone had measured the amount of love I received, it would had been off the charts.
Walking through those double doors for the last time was one of the hardest and saddest decisions I have ever had to make. Tears were running down my eyes as I walked away I couldn’t even look back. I remember feeling like someone very close to me had died. I had an ache in my heart for a long time. My heart was broken because I had to leave those children behind. It was the only job I had ever known, first as a nurse’s aide and then as a LPN. The door had been shut to that part of my life not really understanding why. The only thing running through my mind at the time was what was I going to do now? I had no clue but God did.