She had studied her face in the mirror so many times that she had lost count over the years. It is so hard to study a face that you particularly don’t like to look at. The nose was too big, the cheeks were too rounded, and there were way too many sunspots and that was just some of the features she did not like. Maybe it wasn’t the actual features themselves that she didn’t like but rather the camouflaged image that stared her down every single day.
Magazines, TV shows, school, work, friends and even some family members thought the human body should be show cased as a trophy and many would have freely told you, hers was not. Out casted many times by the power she had given to words, to whispers, hidden laughs, and those back piercing eyes. You must had known someone in your sphere of influence when you were growing up that this had happened to or maybe you knew many or maybe this had been you.
Little by little, one feature at a time morphed into a continuous never-ending world wind of words. “Look at her…what a hideous outfit…She looks like a chipmunk …Wow, she’s large…I hope someone else picks her first,” too many to mention for there were a lot of words that flew around her in those days. She not only grew up with a perceived notion that she had walked through a storm cloud of words everyday but the constant replay of comment after comment kept her chained to her past for many years.
Even into her adulthood the captivity continued with the reflection that stared her down daily. Her beautiful Tootsie roll eyes always looked so sad and they spoke volumes of the misinterpreted images that were compressed by layers of whispers that clung to her soul. The comments hadn’t just clung to her soul they were cemented there by years of a warped self-image. The tragedy was lost moments of happiness because of her own inaccurate view of her self-worth due to the words spoken by others.
There was and will always be the One who looked/looks at her reflection and sees only the heart of a kind, gentle and compassionate woman which undoubtedly trumps all outward beauty. Knowing He is the One who loved and does love her unconditionally lifted the layers of words compressed and intertwined in her heart and mind.
Transforming one’s mind is no easy task to accomplish never mind trying to do it on a daily basis but in His strength it can and has been done. She came to that place of self forgiveness which led to her deliverance from the self-loathing and the self-hatred mindset that plagued her for many years. The freedom she received from the camouflaged image was an enormous step in her healing process. It was such a freeing experience for her she finally had accepted the truth that she always has been and will always be an heir to His Kingdom!